Introduction

My name is José Antonio Ribeiro Neto (Zezinho). I am the son and grandson of Portuguese people.

I was born and raised in Brazil, on my paternal grandfather's farm where my Portuguese family lived.

We also lived part of our lives in the city with my maternal grandparents, in a large community.

Portuguese blood ran in us, marked by unity, cooperation, and cultural identity. The Portuguese are warriors, lovers of life, hard workers, fighters to give their children the best.

It takes daily living with family, grandparents, parents, siblings, uncles, and cousins to be Portuguese.

In savoring the food, in the circle of conversations, in the jokes of the uncles, in the Christmases laughing at the stories told.

Traveling to Portugal and getting emotional, feeling in your heart and soul the Portuguese heritage.

Being Portuguese is something that is felt over time,

that is in the heart, soul, and spirit.

In the origins, in the lessons learned from grandparents, parents, and uncles.

In the teachings translated by Portuguese culture and in the way of seeing life.

Being Portuguese is a sum of lives, knowledge, teachings passed from parents to children, from grandparents to grandchildren, over generations that transform lives in the search for identity.

I summarize what it means to be Portuguese in the following texts:

1 - Being Portuguese is learning from grandparents and family.

2 - Being Portuguese is expressing your soul in stories and phrases.

3 - Being Portuguese is having self-criticism, resilience, and courage.

4 - Being Portuguese is knowing how to awaken, collaborate, guide, and reinvent oneself.

5 - Being Portuguese is being present in the lives of your children and future generations.

1 - Being Portuguese is learning from grandparents and family  

My Portuguese grandparents had a profound impact on my upbringing.  I grew up listening to advice, stories, and phrases shaped by their life experiences.  

They faced the Spanish flu in the last century, the two world wars, global crises like the stock market crash of New York in 1929, unemployment, difficulties in feeding the family, and immigration to another country.  

Despite the unequal struggle, they kept the family united, preparing the ground for future generations. My grandmother passed away before I was born, but her photo on the wall accompanies me to this day, as if I had known her and lived with her all my life. 

My grandfather brought from Portugal a love for literature, culture, and knowledge of the world. A military man in Portugal, he became a farmer in Brazil. He was respectful to partners, sharecroppers, caretakers, and neighbors.
He carried within him a love for Portugal and for Figueiró dos Vinhos, a Portuguese parish in the district of Leiria, in the province of Beira Litoral.  

With him, I learned about the land, how to cultivate it, take care of the animals, respect the weather and climate, and have the patience to see the crops grow.  

In front of the house, he maintained a grapevine. He proudly gave the prunings to friends. He talked to it every day to ease the longing for the land across the sea and for my grandmother who left too soon.  

His stories of Portugal were told at night, on the veranda of the house, while smoking a straw cigarette, amusingly looking at the starry sky of the Milky Way, which softly bathed our farm in light.  

I remember his slow walk along the farm trails, a ritual of thinking, of relating to nature, to the Portuguese life from where he came.
The farm was located in the city of Duartina, SP, from where we could see the sunrise and sunset, follow the moon in its phases, the stunning Milky Way in the winter months, meteor showers, and abundant rain, bathing crops, pastures, and animals.  

Learning to be Portuguese with my grandfather  

My paternal grandfather was very cultured, educated, and kind. I learned from him to be a farmer and a good reader.  

He was a fan of Eça de Queiroz, and besides the personal books he brought from Portugal, he subscribed to "Reader's Digest," translated into Portuguese.  

Sitting on the wooden floor of his house, I used to read the books and leaf through the magazines. "Have you finished reading 'The Mandarin'?" he would ask, looking at me as he passed by. 

The farm was filled with the presence of childhood friends, cousins, uncles, aunts, sharecroppers, caretakers, and neighbors, a community with a strong accent that delved into customs, food, phrases, jokes, smiles, and Portuguese songs.  

Hunting, bocce games, horseback riding, swings on the cedar tree, soccer, fetching water from the spring, helping with house cleaning, preparing for the saint's festivals, and hard work compensated for the learning.  

Next to the grapevine, we had a huge cedar tree with a steel cable swing, two mango trees providing shade for the bocce field, and a tall coconut tree that attracted birds.  

In front of the house, there was a lawn that served as a parking lot, festival tents, a soccer field, animal riding, and race competitions on a trail leading to the granary, followed by dogs that thrilled in our comings and goings.  

Aunt Leonor, the youngest daughter, witnessed everything, taking care of us with immense affection, cooking Portuguese dishes, scolding us when necessary, and cheering us up with her positive and charismatic attitude.  

"Growing up with my paternal grandfather showed me the importance of being Portuguese, of Portuguese culture, of calm and patience, of living and sharing."

Learning to be Portuguese with my maternal grandparents.

They came from the parish of Penhas Juntas, in the municipality of Vinhais, district of Bragança, province of Trás-os-Montes and Alto Douro, in northern Portugal.  

My grandfather José Elias was the epitome of calm, tranquil and serene. He was a strategist and entrepreneur, owning a store and a hotel, one business feeding the other, ideas I learned for the future.  

He gave me a lot of attention. After school, I would stop by the store to eat Portuguese cookies and sweets, which in those days came in tins and were sold by weight.  

He would tell me stories and feats from when he lived in Portugal, talking about wars in Europe, his journey to work in France, and meeting my grandmother Leopoldina who defied her father to marry him, a rare act at the time.  

He talked about the lands, their small stone houses, the little space to plant in the rocky soil, the harsh winter, and the difficult life they had.  

I always considered him a romantic because I saw in him a charm for life, for his children, and for my grandmother Leopoldina, a short Portuguese woman with a strong personality and a winning spirit whom he didn't dare to contradict.  

Learning to be Portuguese with my grandmother Leopoldina.

She took us to church every Sunday, we went in single file with sisters and cousins, and I always obeyed, following the rules.  

When she came towards my house, I watched her and felt immense pride, as she showed determination to arrive and solve problems, whatever they might be.  

On Sundays, she awaited her children and grandchildren for lunch. There we were, around a large table, eating sardines, cod with potatoes, onions, peppers, and tomatoes, and my grandfather serving a good Portuguese wine from a carafe. No one complained about the happiness of being Portuguese.  

"Being Portuguese is having lived with your family, learned from them the hardships of life. Keeping these memories to develop them with your children and grandchildren, the living flame of Portuguese culture and ethnicity."

2 - Being Portuguese is expressing your soul in stories and phrases  

As the grandson and son of Portuguese people, I grew up listening to my grandparents' stories. They were stories of unparalleled sincerity, accounts of wars, travels through Europe, immigration to Brazil, the choice of wives, religious, political, and sports convictions, sorrows, and joys.  

Stories like those of my grandmother Leopoldina, who took us to mass on Sundays and would confess, always repeating the same "sin" of taking a little money from my grandfather. She always received absolution from the priest who, tired of the same story, one day decreed that "taking a little money secretly from the husband was no longer a sin," which made her very happy.  

My grandparents conveyed to me like no one else the way of being Portuguese, summarizing difficult situations in true and meaningful phrases, pointing out solutions in seconds. When situations got tough, I could hear phrases like “raios que te partam!” or “raios me partam!”, which in the pronunciation sounded like “ralhos que te partam!”.  

These original stories and phrases are part of my Portuguese life, and I keep them as relics that represent the longing and love for them. They come to my mind unexpectedly when I am involved in some life situation where they fit. Some of these phrases I published in my book using the expression “as my Portuguese grandfather used to say,” as they remind me of that period of life when I lived with them.  

"Being Portuguese is expressing your soul in stories and phrases, from generation to generation, transmitting the gifts of acting, thinking, accomplishing, loving, suffering, and developing life honestly and with hard work."

3 - Being Portuguese is having self-criticism, resilience, and courage  

Based on what I learned from my Portuguese grandparents, I realized that they faced life using three basic principles: Self-criticism, Resilience, and Courage.

a) Self-criticism  

Being Portuguese means having self-criticism. “You are not better than others,” my Portuguese grandfather used to say.  

Instead of criticizing the world, criticize yourself. Look within. Do you talk too much? Do you promise more than you deliver? Do you not respect those who are different? Do you not know how to talk to your children? Do you consider yourself superior?  

This is definitely not being Portuguese. We did not learn this from our grandparents and parents. It is not part of our Portuguese culture. Being Portuguese means having self-criticism. Seeking the best for yourself and for others.

b) Resilience  

Being Portuguese means being resilient. “Be patient, my boy,” my Portuguese grandfather used to say.  

Resilience means being flexible, having the ability to overcome obstacles.  

An appropriate form of resilience is considering the argument that our actions can result in good or bad deeds.  

To understand the outcome of actions, one must be resilient. Having great calm to deal with problems, overcoming adversities.  

No one is more resilient than the Portuguese, facing life head-on, with calm and patience, in the face of emerging difficulties.

c) Courage  

If you are Portuguese, you know what it means to be courageous. “Have courage and get on the horse,” my Portuguese grandfather used to say.  

Fear is frightening. It breaks confidence. It arises unexpectedly at various stages of life.  

Elderly people who fall are afraid to walk. Bankrupt entrepreneurs are afraid to develop new businesses. Players with chronic injuries are afraid to play again. Lost loves become barriers to falling in love again. Insecure children are afraid to make decisions. And so on.  

Courage arises when we face fear. Those who are not afraid are not normal people. Fear accompanies us throughout life, coming and going daily. Coming from Portugal, my grandparents, mother, and children crossed the Atlantic Ocean on ships that were not very safe by today's standards. They had courage, but they must have had moments of great fear.  

Various techniques are used to eliminate fear, such as changing behavior, rationalizing the problem, performing simple tasks until gaining confidence for more complex ones, breathing, relaxing, concentrating, clinging to God, trying to get rid of anxiety, among others.  

“If you are Portuguese, you know that to live and take care of your family, you need courage, confidence in yourself, and to get rid of fear as quickly as possible. Being Portuguese is being courageous.”

4 - To be Portuguese is to know how to awaken, collaborate, guide, and reinvent oneself. 

Often in life, we find ourselves in difficulties. They arise at inopportune moments, altering our lives. We are shocked to realize how fragile we are. Some situations can be resolved quickly, others take years, and many may not be resolved at all.
In our family, we have faced many difficulties, such as the passing of my grandmother, the loss of the eldest brother due to cancer, the loss of a young nephew, and financial setbacks in business. It is sad to go through this.
Portuguese life offers strength to overcome these challenges. I have learned to face these situations and guide my children with the lessons learned. I learned what made me more Portuguese in four words: Awaken, Collaborate, Guide, and Reinvent oneself.

1 - Awaken

To be Portuguese is to know how to awaken your winning instinct, seeking information, guidance, and knowledge for new paths. Leaving behind past grievances, starting over, and transforming into a better person, seeking a more productive and happier life. Life's lessons serve as strength for us to awaken and face difficulties.

2 - Collaborate

Collaborating with family and the community to face disasters that happen in life, without a set time or date. In the Portuguese family, we learn to collaborate with others to endure complicated situations. Life may disorient us, but with support, we get through difficult times and move forward.

3 - Guide

If you have children, you know how important it is to know how to guide. Providing ideas and suggestions for the person to become more confident to change direction, develop new goals, seek new paths in life. My grandparents and parents always guided me when necessary. To be Portuguese is to know how to guide your children, compatriots, and friends. To be Portuguese is to know how to receive guidance to find new paths.

4 - Reinvent oneself

Often we have to stop being as we were and realize that it is necessary to improve, change the way we do and live. Being Portuguese demands changes from each of us at certain moments in life to face difficulties. To be Portuguese is to know how to review values, rethink what we are and what we want to be, going towards the unexpected, what we dream of but have not yet achieved.

5 - To be Portuguese is to be present in the lives of children and new generations

Just like my parents, I got married and had children. My wife is a music and languages teacher, with training in classical piano and a bachelor's degree in Portuguese and English literature. My daughter is a journalist and my son, an economist.

Just as I received from my grandparents and parents a special education, guided by principles and values ​​inherited from my Portuguese family, I sought to transmit these same principles to my children. Just as my grandparents guided, my parents took advantage of their interaction with my children to tell them stories and feats of their great-grandparents, themselves, and Portuguese life here and beyond.

Being Portuguese is being able to maintain these traditions, through stories told, experiences lived and transmitted. Without this, I think we cease to be truly Portuguese, losing for future generations the human strength that we carry within us and that characterizes us as special people.

Developing Portuguese love with children, guiding them towards a future life using these traditions, seems to me to be correct. I believe that my children can carry forward these teachings and be proud, as I am proud, to be Portuguese.

To be Portuguese is, above all, to be present in the lives of your children and the new generations.